Secrets of Gemini: Good Twin, Bad Twin

It seems we're always half way through the month by the time I get around to posting about the energy available for corrections during these weeks in accordance to Kabbalistic wisdom and astrology. The thing that sucks about that is there's only a couple of weeks left. The thing that rocks about that is that when you read it, you'll be able to say, "Wow, that's exactly what I've been going through the past two weeks!" as opposed to unconsciously applying it to your future. And that, my friends, is exactly what this period of Gemini and the month of June is all about: The glass is half full and the glass is half empty.

There is darkness and light in everything and this is especially important to remember in relation to ourselves and other people. For when we remember it, all judgment fades. Charles Manson? Eh, I'm sure he had his reasons. Was what he did wrong? Absolutely. Can I judge? No, because I have it in me to become him if his life (and past life and spiritual life) experiences had happened to me. I also have it in me to become Mother Theresa. This idea is symbolized by Gemini's sign of the two twins.

One very important element of Kabbalah that is often overlooked or forgotten is that darkness and negativity, the evil twin in all of us, is not something to run from. When we say, "No, I'm going to push it out of my mind, I banish evil, it does not exist!" we are only making that negativity stronger because we are lying to ourselves, putting more negative energy onto our shoulders. And like any disease, the longer you ignore it, the stronger it will get.

The energy is available this month to walk into the darkness and find the light hiding within it. Remember that God is in everything. Find the positive in the negative. This is not easy to do, people! Walking into darkness and changing ourselves, transforming ourselves for the better so our spirit is elevated closer to the Light and so that we have more to contribute to this world, is the hardest and most important work you'll ever do. There's a lot of people out there who don't want to work hard. There's a lot of people out there who are afraid to confront darkness in and outside of themselves. This is why Christianity is so prevalent today. Any Christian will tell you that you are incapable of such things, that you must pray and repent to rid yourself of darkness instead of actually doing the work yourself with the Light of the Creator that is within all of us. And this is why so many cry, "Where are you, God? Why have you forsaken me?"

Christianity and many other dogmatic religions promote the idea of, instead of confronting something, running from it. And that is fine if it works for them. For some people, that is their path and I believe everyone has their own direct line to dialing God. What works for me will not work for others. But for me, I know wherever you run, there you are. And that darkness will still be right behind you until you turn around to face it. Embrace it, even, knowing that it is necessary part of us; without darkness, there can be no light.

Something very important to keep in mind while doing this work and going into the darkness: When you find things about yourself that you don't like, don't beat yourself up over it! It is only a sign of how much light can be revealed. Rejoice that you have recognized it because that is the first step! You aren't supposed to be perfect here on Earth. God has angels in heaven. He needs people here on Earth, human beings who have been blessed with darkness and light within them, so that they can transform themselves and help make the world a better place.

There is a great story in the Torah about Rebecca being pregnant with the twins, Jacob and Esav. At first, she didn't know she was carrying twins. When she would walk by a place of holiness, she would feel one side of her belly kick. When she would walk by a place of darkness and negativity, she would feel the other side of her belly kick. She became so frightened, so concerned that her child was unable to make a decision between good and evil, that she went see a Rabbi who told her that she was pregnant with twins. He told her that one, Jacob, would have the most tremendous soul and be one of the most enlightened beings of his day, but that the other, Esav, would be filled with negativity and carry a most darkened soul. Rebecca shed tears of joy and exclaimed that she was relieved. The Rabbi assumed her happiness was out of being mother to someone with such a tremendous soul as Jacob, but Rebecca said, no, that she was joyous for giving birth to a child like Esav. Why? She told him it was because Esav will have more opportunity to connect to the greatest light of the Creator, more potential for growth, and that is what our purpose is here on Earth. Jacob's future was limited. Esav's was limitless; for he had a chance to one day "wake up" and shine a brighter light than Jacob's due to his long sleep.

I love that story. It's sort of like imagining what life would be like had you lived in a cave for many, many years. Stepping out of it, the sun would seem so much brighter to you than it would to regular person who goes outside and experiences sunlight every day, wouldn't it?

I have a story of my own about embracing both light and dark within me. Interestingly enough, this happened just days before we went into the Gemini cycle when I was visiting a church in Paris, Sainte-Chappelle, known for having the most intricate and extensive stained glass display in the world. The windows span nearly the entire length of floor to ceiling and its just one after another after another after another. The church says that the windows have magical powers, which is interesting because Catholics usually denounce the word "magic" so heavily. After some research online, I found that the church was built over an old temple to Pagan goddess, Isis, so that might have something to do with the "magic." But in the dark corner of this amazing church, I found two gargoyles that had fallen from the church's exterior. There were lots of gargoyles on the outside of the church which are used frequently in cathedrals to keep evil spirits out. (They're also used as water spouts, interestingly enough, as water is the only element that has the ability to transform.)

I was so intensely drawn to these two gargoyles that had fallen, the one on the far left and the one on the far right in the picture above. They seriously called to me, I've never experienced anything like it. With the magic of the stained glass all around me, I walked to them, pushed aside in the corner with no one paying them any attention whatsoever and they started speaking to me. At first, it was like radio frequency coming in scratchy until I could figure out what was going on. The one on the left was speaking a foreign language (Latin?) I couldn't understand and the one on the right was serving as translator. The message I was getting is that all of the gargoyles felt incredibly used. They were saddened by the church's lack of understanding and these two had fallen in hopes of finding something better, someone who would understand the power of darkness embraced as opposed to the weakness of trying to shut it out or deny it. "They shun us and yet use us, beg of us to keep our own kind out," they said. While the other gargoyles did dutifully as they were told, these two had a different path. "We could stand here no longer." They said they would come with me only if I promised to always embrace them as well as the light, to never deny both sides of myself and remember that there is darkness and light within all of us, that there can't be one without the other. "Embrace us and we will protect you, guide you and help bring you light and the everlasting beauty you see shining through these walls. Like our beautiful house of stained glass you see here, there can be no beauty without light but there can be no light without darkness."

I carry their spirits with me now, one on each shoulder, my left and my right.

We must all do our work this month to find the dark in ourselves and confront it. When do we see ourselves reacting? When do we see ourselves being violent? Being lazy? When, even in the good deeds we do, are our intentions truly for our own agenda? The answer to that one is almost always! Do not be brought down by realizing this darkness within yourself, but embrace it and rejoice that it is there. Love that you have found it because you have faith that you can and will do the work to change it. If you can't see that and you just beat yourself up or you run away every time you see something negative in you, it is an imbalanced attack on yourself.

Imbalance is not of the Light. Light is justice and balance. Justice and balance is black and white, good and bad. Embrace both sides. They're there for a reason.

We have the ability to transform all darkness, physical and otherwise, into light and to end pain and suffering within this world, but only through recognizing and embracing that the darkness and the light exists in all and only through one personal transformation at a time.



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