...And Still More Hope

While it may feel better to get out of bed in the morning than it has since I was 20, and while I may be filled with more hope and optimism for what's right around the corner than ever before, I had an interesting conversation online the other night that reminded me there's still even more I should be expecting from the world at large.

I was in a chat room and there was this 20 year old who had been in a four-year relationship and was looking to date instead of "hook up," hoping to find a real partner. Granted, I only just turned 27, but for some reason I found the entire thing a little laughable.

After talking for a while, he expressed interest in dating me and I told him I would be very wary of that. I told him that, as I saw it, every boy needed to go through a phase of being "independent" and being "single" and maybe even being a "whore" so that you can sow your wild oats and get those things out of your system; otherwise, you're going to constantly be tempted and wonder what it would be like!

He, of course, disagreed entirely saying that he was only interested in love and would never need to go through a phase like that to "settle down."

I chalked it up to naievity and explained it to him like this: It's like when a mother has her child at a really young age. She's always going to wonder what her life would have been like if she had done it differently, right? If she could be free?

He said, "Um, not neccessarily. What if the child was the best thing that ever happened to her and she would never imagine wanting her life to be any different?"

I could only think of one thing to say.

"Oh."

I was stumped! He was right!

I was projecting. Just because I needed to go through that phase doesn't mean everyone else needs to go through it. And to assume that just because someone is younger than me and less experienced that they are going to cheat on me or that I will not be enough for them is not only pessimistic but self-deprecating!

I threw my hands in the air and realized in that moment I must've been just so far gone all these years to have let that voice in the back of my head that says, "Well, that will never work!" take hold of my entire being.

As far as I have come and as optimistic as I feel, there's still a whole lot of "assuming" and judgment based in fear.

Eh, it's a process. Not beating myself up. Just found it amusing.


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Have questions? Need advice? Want to share? EMAIL Jason at jason@jasonsechrest.com